somebody snuck up and got me drunk
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
