I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize