i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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