how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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