also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
