Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
last night I used snow as a chaser
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
