listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
