I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
