Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
