Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
