i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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