There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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