Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
