he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
