My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
