there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
