Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
