Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
