My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
