Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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