I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
