The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
