Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
