That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I believe in your delicious
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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