every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
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