Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Enjoy the penises
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
