It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
When are your genitals available?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
