White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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