We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
