my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
