apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
