i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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