dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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