All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
