I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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