no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
