She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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