did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
