but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
