to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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