I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
