College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
