I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
