I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
