She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
