Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
