where am i from again
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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