break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
