I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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