if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
