By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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