I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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