he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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