It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
