Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
