her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
