Define "chronic" masturbator.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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