She is in my trunk
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize