Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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