One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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